OK, Miley. We know you’re not a virgin anymore

And please stop rubbing it in our face, fortunately, you are not the only one having sex.

What happens to ex Disney Princesses? I still remember that phase Britney Spears went through when she started dated that retarded Wannabe singer Kevin Federline and couldn’t stop bragging about the tons of sex they had. As it happens, Miley Cyrus is ditching her princess attire as well, showing up on the red carpet in outfits that delights the Fashion Police.

I totally understand that growing up and finding your own personality can be challenging for any teenager. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for child stars who spent their youth behind cameras and being prompted for every line they uttered. But clumsiness or the eventual fashion disaster is a thing, what Miley is making us endure is another.

Just look at her latest appearence for the 2013 VMAS performance. Usually, when we hear Christmas and Chanel, we start doing a little victory dance but she single handedly managed to ruin our two favourite “C’s” in a split second. OK, everyone who knows me knows I am a big Chanel fan but this dead skunk looking purse that she is carrying is not the greatest one the Kaiser had designed. And who goes on stage singing carrying a purse?????

Image

 

And she seamed to have found the North Pole and couldn’t stop gyrating against it.

Image

 

Image

The look on Will Smith and his family says it all…

Image

 

It is vulgar, distasteful and all in all unattractive. She went from Disney princess to white slutty trash and is a terrible example for the kids who buy her music. Go home and rest Miley or you will end up in a rehab centre with as completely shaved head.

Advertisements

Bitter sweet 2014

2014 has yet to come with its festivities, trips, surprises and good resolutions. For us expats, it will also mean saying goodbye to friends whose path we have been fortunate enough to cross. We wouldn’t have met them if we had stayed in our little parisian neighborghood, that’s for sure. We didn’t even know they existed. As I said to my beloved husband when he told me we were to move to Mexico, “I am sure that they are tons of wonderful people there but I do not care, I do not know them, my friends are in Paris and NYC.” Mean girl, I know.

And wonderful people indeed I have met. And two of my best girl friends here in Mexico city are leaving for new horizons. One for Miami, the other for Cuba. How I hate their husbands right now to take them away from me and leave me behind. But how situations change over a few years. Thanks to their friendship, I learn to like my life here in Mexico. I know it is not THE end, and thanks to Skype, internet and all modern means of communication, we will keep in touch. But it will get harder to have lunch together or to see each other at pick up.

And it is not only for us grownups that it is tough. My little ones had developed some great friendships here and they too, we have to say goodbye, again. They all have emails, too but still. And I cannot but wonder what will they learn from this expat life that we bestowed upon them, what adults they will become? But they are tough and resilient cookies and will grow stronger, I am sure. As there will be many other Halloweens…

IMG_6209

 

Or beach vacations in the Carribeans

 DSCN0194

 

As well as hot air balloon flights above Teotihuacan pyramids

IMG_4927

Many more Dîners en blanc L1010319

Well, this year, Kylian has to say goodbye earlier than the usual June deadline to two very good friends of his. They both decided to beat the tears and wish you all a very happy year 2014, wherever you are headed. You will stay in our hearts forever and we are lucky that our path have crossed.

Image

The Kardashians or The Bourgeois Gentilhomme family

Ooooops, they did it again. Tis is the season to adorn your house, decorate the tree, sing out loud and out of tunes christmas carols and, of course, shoot your christmas family cards. This reminds me that I am extremely late to shoot mine and my client ones..

But as usual, the Kardashians couldn’t do it the regular way and turned this family tradition into a mega production. In the lineage of the wedding – nobody seamed to have told K.K. that black for a wedding is the best way to jinx it – the wedding proposal by Yeezus in a football stadium, the list is quiet exhaustive, this 2013 family holiday card is a collector.

This time, they undoubtedly out did themselves, I must say. Famed fashion photographer of the 90’s, David Lachapelle whose style is known for saturated, kitchy picture showing off oiled toned bodies, was hired to do the job. Honestly, it must be really hard to turn down a $250,000 pay check but there are some things that are definitely not worth it. This Kardashian christmas cards seams to be high on the No-No list.

A source told Radar Online: “It took three days just to put the set together. David was extremely involved in all details of the set installation. It was Kim’s idea to get David to do the family photo Christmas picture. At first, David balked because he does photo shoots for major magazines, but Kim convinced him to do it.rs_1024x339-131201150409-1024.Kardashian-Christmas-Card-Hi-Res.jl.120113_copy

“It wasn’t a cheap photo shoot, and the production company of Keeping Up With The Kardashians paid the $250,000 invoice. Hair, make-up, wardrobe, were all paid for by production, and the Kardashians didn’t pay one dime for their Christmas card!” How am I not surprised?

This panoramic shot is so atrocious that I do not know where to start. The blond, all boobs out Kim which christmas ham leg seams to be the only allusions to the holidays?

rs_634x1024-131201150408-634.Kim-Kardashian-Family-Christmas-Card.jl.120113

The two younger ones whose name I never manage to remember trying to look fierce stepping on some trashy magazine while, by zooming in, we discover that the indian goddess on the wood work behind them looks strangely like K.K.?

rs_634x1024-131201150405-634-1.Kendall-Kylie-Jenner-Kardashian-Family-Christmas-Card.jl.120113_copy

Kourtney looking like a lion and Khloé looking like a nun in comparison both stuck with the kids? Well, I must say that the little boy is the only one striking a natural pose on this photo, he looks bored to tears.

rs_560x415-131201150439-1024-1.Khloe-Kris-Kourtney-Bruce-Christmas-Card.jl.120113

Kris in the forefront of the shot, why am I not surprised? Wearing a headpiece that makes her look like a Ceasar Palace waitress?

Or last but not least in the ridiculous scale, Bruce trying to escape from what looks like a teleportation case from Star Trek? Is it a hint that he wanted to divorce and escape the circus that his life has become? And what is with the hair? Did he got extensions? Is it a wig? Please note the neither subliminal nor subdued cashier letters behind him…

Although Mason and Penelope made an appearance in the family Christmas card, Kim’s daughter North wasn’t in the shot and neither was her fiancé Kanye West. In fact, none of the guys were in the shot except for Bruce. Not bankable enough?

Well please, Kardashian clan, we know your are extremely wealthy but taste doesn’t necessary come with money as it obviously  shows here, if somebody had still any doubts. The mix of panty high slits, big hair, casino, bank notes, neon lights and gold doesn’t really mean elegance. A little tip here, as Coco Chanel always said, less is more. Why not try something a little undertones next year.

And pssss Kim, for your next big event or for your most anticipated wedding, try the magic of LOKIS candle-lit events, you’ll be amazed and for once praised for your tastes.

Lokis, the candle-lit magician

From Paris to Mumbai, a candle-lit dinner is always synonymous of romance, precious moments and love. So what when you have thousands of candles illuminating your family castle,  a dream villa in Corsica, the Tuileries gardens in Paris or even a massive yacht? Well, this is romanticism on steroids. LOKIS, the candle-lit event pioneer, is the only agency which can transform your special night into a whimsical fairytale with such brio.

And I was so mesmerised by the whole concept, enchanting photos, creativity and work ethic that I signed up to be their Ambassador in Mexico. This is how good they are…

LOKIS has been contracted by some of the most prestigious families in France to enchant their private event. Here is a photo of the Courrances Castle, home to the Taittinger family which we illuminated for one of their daughters’ wedding including the 2 hectares lake.

ImageImage

We also enlighted the Rothshild Castle for an anniversary

Image

Or the Paris Palais de Tokyo for a pharmaceutical firm 40th anniversary.

Image

Chapels, churchs, centerpieces, stables, Lokis place candles everywhere to turn your dream event into a fairytale one.Image

“Les nuits blanches” in Bordeaux, illumination of a public spaceImage

May be Kim K. and Yeezus should contact us for their wedding and make it a truly classy event this time. We can even illuminate football stadiums or mega yachts. You dream of a fantasy event, it is our pledge to oblige you…

To learn more about LOKIS, visit http://www.lokis.fr or contact me callani@lokis.fr

Naissance d’une connasse

Hier m’attendait un joli cadeau dans ma boîte email, un mot d’Eloïse Lang, scénariste de “Connasse”, la nouvelle mini-série avant le Grand Journal de Canal Plus qui fait fureur en France et dont je me régale. D’où? Comment? Pourquoi un tel privilège? Non, non, ce n’est pas grâce au mince succès de mon poste “Quand je serai grande, je serai Connasse sur Canal” mais grâce à une amie commune qui, après un passage éclair à Mexico City, élève désormais ses quatre bambins sur les rives du Bosphore. Small world, I know…

Mais l’Eloïse en question, loin d’être une connasse, c’est fendue d’un fort gentil mot où me fut révélé la naissance de la peste vénérée. Ce fut donc à la suite d’un texto envoyé un jour à Noémie Saglio, auteur réalisatrice rencontrée en Corse et avec qui l’envie naquit de développer un projet, “et si on écrivait une série sur une Connasse” ?. Les deux minettes écrivirent une Bible et trouvèrent une boîte de production, Silex Films, qui leur signa une option. Mais n’est pas connasse qui veut, et c’est lors d’un casting que les deux réalisatrices tombèrent en émoi devant le talent de Camille Cottin qui s’est imposée loin devant les autres comme LEUR Connasse. Comme quoi, ce n’est pas donné à tout le monde de jouer des rôles de salope et comme disait Coluche, “il faut être drôlement intelligent pour jouer des rôles de con.”

Le pilote bouclé, il fut envoyé à Canal and the rest is history….

Depuis, Eloïse et Noémie croulent sous le travail, les horaires de dingue, sont plongées dans des situations rocambolesques car les tournages sont filmés en caméra cachée avec du matériel d’espionnes et une organisation digne de homeland (mais avec des intermittents du spectacle comme techniciens qui ont du mal à suivre…pas très habitués aux opérations commando).
Malgré cela, ces nanas ne se sont pas chopé le melon, bossent à en perdre des kilos, s’arracher les cheveux et se fumer des cartouches entières. Leurs mecs n’en peuvent plus, normal vu qu’il ne doit même pas y avoir une pizza surgelée au congélo. Et loin des tapis rouges et des paillettes, quand elles n’écrivent ou ne tournent pas, elles se roulent en boule épuisées sur leur canapés respectifs en matant la télé.
“Mais ce qui compte c’est de savoir que tout ça vaut le coup vu que ça fait marrer les copines du Mexique à Istanbul.” dixit Eloïse. En tout cas, je suis admirative moi qui n’arrive toujours pas à boucler mon scenar debuté en 2008… Je vais peut-être partir en Corse et balancer des textos…

Kate Moss bares it all for Playboy

Finally, the highly anticipated Kate Moss spread in the 60th anniversary edition of Playboy has been revealed today. Who would have thought that the magazine which generally shows off curvaceous 60 like pin ups had fallen for the Twig? Far from the regular image of Hugues Heffner bunnies, Kate Moss ads a couture spin to the magazine and the images shot photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott are undoubtedly hot. I am not a huge expert on playboy’s iconography but I am quiet sure it is the first time they show off someone known for her lack of curves. ImageNo vulgar poses here, everything is subtle and subdued. Who said you had to be a 36E to be sexy? Small and forty can be very hot too, especially when you have razor sharp cheek bones, feline eyes and pouty lips. Check it out…

Image

 

Image